Expecting

When one is pregnant and begins to spring clean closets, buy new window treatments and put the college photos where they belong – away, the activity is called nesting. I did not get to nest when my son Davis was born. True to who he has become, Davis showed up a few weeks early, upside down, kicking like a soccer player which he never became, four weeks premature. The only project we had accomplished the day before was to buy a video camera. Apparently, he must have been aware of at least this action and decided it was cool, we would be ready.

But what is it called when you are expecting a puppy? It can’t still be called nesting, hell, it should not have been called nesting as it relates to humans in the first place. The image of a nest has no parallels to the hormonal surge that women experience prior to letting go of the mass in their womb, or the process of letting go of the monthly hormone house we build each time. But there are no hormones involved in expecting a puppy, except for Holly, Enzo’s mom. But not for me, or for Mark, the future father.

Perhaps this is why I have found it difficult to get motivated to buy anything for Enzo, that and the economy seems to go up and down like his tail, and quite honestly, I don’t want to spoil him right away either. Can you see my dilemma?

We procrastinated as long as humanly, but not caninely possible, after grocery shopping yesterday. We were even in denial so much that we only wanted to shop in the pet aisle of the grocery store, and found a collar and leash that did blend, but not match (hey when you are blending families, there is no matching, only blending, matching creates conflict and competition). So, we bought the blue collar, with the blue plaid short leash.

Mark was insistent that Enzo needed a chew rope, so that went into the cart too. Then, he said something really new father like, “Enzo needs to have something soft to cuddle up with.” I could not believe this was coming from my overly pragmatic, but always up for a good debate of a husband. It was really something that would have come from my sister Jeanne, who calls her dogs “fluffers”. I just shrugged, knowing I had picked out the dog, if he wanted to pick out the toys, more puppy power to him.

We logged in a few more miles driving closer to home to the Complete Petmart. Really, all the names sound the name, PetSmart, Petland, Complete Petmart. Where is the creativity in the pet world these days? Inside the store, we selected a nice carrier / cage for Enzo and also picked out a soft mattress for him, which offers more cushion than our own. I told Mark, “That’s it. I can’t take anymore, this is overwhelming me.” Just so as to be clear, dog popcorn?

I am already of the opinion that society in general has gone “to the dogs” about dogs. I know people who proudly tell me they are “dog people.” And I really don’t know what that means. Does that imply they love dogs, or that they really are a dog, more animal than human? When you have kids, do you tell people, “I am a kid person”, or when you have parents, are you a “parent person”? For that matter, what does the phrase, “I am a people person,” really mean?

I digress. I did enough damage today to my psyche and my wallet to signal that this is really going to happen. Though I am no closer to finding a name for “expecting Enzo” that will help prepare me for the last leg before welcoming him home, I have come to learn that nesting for humans has a corporate branding, with Edward Norton’s Fight Club character referring to the syndrome as the IKEA Nesting Instinct. Perhaps finding a corporate sponsor is a good place to start.